Leader Burnout: How to Lead Without Losing Yourself

Dr Elaine Smith | The Leadership Psychologist

Leadership is no picnic.

“72% of leaders report feeling completely ‘spent’ at the end of the day.”

Development Dimensions International (Global Leadership Forecast 2021)

We know that burnout amongst leaders is increasing. We need to change that.

I can help you to lead with compassion, while protecting your wellbeing. Here, I will cover how to prevent burnout and manage executive stress.

The Modern Reality of Leader Burnout & Stress

Leaders face enormous pressure in this modern world. Expectations, standards and workers rights are more demanding than ever. This is how it should be, but it places immense pressure on those who lead. This is what needs to change - compassionate leadership that creates a ripple effect across organisations, and communities.

We can’t ignore the facts.

“Burnout costs the UK economy an estimated £38 billion per year.”

Deloitte UK Mental Health Report, 2022

The digital age the improved the world in many ways. It has also created issues of:

• Being permanently contactable

• Blurred boundaries between work and home

• The temptation to work 24/7

• ‘Just checking emails’ and the spiral effect

• General disconnection in real life

• Leaders feeling they cannot escape work - it literally follows you around. Notifications have become a permanent ‘boss’ that dominates our lives (at times).

“77% of UK CEOs report being overworked and burned out.”

Raconteur / FT survey, 2022

Technology and AI is changing so fast that the workplace is evolving at a pace never seen before. Leaders also need to navigate these constant changes and new developments. Managing people and change is not easy. It makes people feel anxious, and insecure about their jobs. AI is such a hot topic, and people are genuinely afraid of being replaced. This causes huge amounts of organisational stress.

It’s you, the leaders, who are navigating this constant change, and trying to maintain your own wellbeing.

Your health and mindset are the foundations of a thriving workforce.

That is why my work focuses on leaders first. Otherwise, we are forever plastering over cracks. The best ROI for wellbeing interventions comes from organisational interventions, not individual ones

How Burnout Shows Up in High-Performing Leaders

“Leaders are mentally ‘quiet quitting’ — staying visible but disconnecting emotionally.”

Dr Diane Hamilton, writing for Forbes (2023)

Burnout is hard to hide. From others and from ourselves. It can creep up, if you don’t know the signs.

The first step in prevention is simply noticing. Observation is the key to change, as we cannot change what we cannot see.

Burnout makes itself known, and it changes our psychology (thoughts, feelings, behaviour).

Leaders experiencing burnout may:

• Seem emotionally detached, perhaps more ‘there in body than in spirit’

• Appear irritable - react differently to usual. Perhaps a leader who usually has a good sense of humour, seems sharper in their responses

• They may experience emotional numbness, struggling to explain how they feel. Some people may describe this as an ‘empty’ feeling.

• Burnout can look like cynicism and having little interest in the role/company. This can also mirror ‘quiet quitting’, due to beliefs around learned helplessness and thoughts such as ‘what is the point?….. no matter what I do it is not enough and the workload keeps on growing… I get no thanks. There is no end in sight’. It is important to note that this is a shift, a new behaviour, and not ‘characteristic’ of the person. It is change in behaviour that is always worth noting - to observe in ourselves or in others.

  
  

“36% of managers are more likely than individual contributors to report burnout symptoms.”

meQuilibrium study, 2022

Why Compassion Is the Antidote  - Not Fluffy Words

“When leaders embrace vulnerability, they build trust and inspire others.”

Katina Sawyer, Organisational Psychologist

As humans, we connect best with the real, imperfect, vulnerable parts of others, than to people who ‘seem to have it all together’.

Leaders are no different. When leaders demonstrate compassion and vulnerability, it can be transformative for their team.

You know the boss that you can be ‘yourself’ with, versus the boss you feel anxious around, and often eager to please. They may be unpredictable or predictably difficult to interact with.

The compassionate leader is firstly kind to themselves. They are self-aware, and generally able to manage their emotions. They are not afraid to apologise for mistakes and they are willing to be vulnerable. You will hear them express if they are having a tough day, or they may disclose something (appropriate) about their personal life - a stressor or recent event which may have been challenging. The point is they are comfortable with being human.

Self compassion is the first step towards compassionate leadership.

Compassionate leaders learn to slow down, to speed up.

That is, they stop, listen, try to understand and empathise with their employees.

A compassionate leader will always make you feel heard, seen and understood.

Compassion is the act of alleviating the distress of another person, so compassionate leaders will always take action to help you where possible.

This is a real human-to-human relationship. It is professional, boundaried and human.

Compassionate leadership has a ripple effect across organisations, and therefore, reduces leadership burnout over time.

Alternative leadership styles (autocratic & authoritarian) are more likely to burn out because they carry the load alone, while compassionate leaders share the weight and protect their own wellbeing through connection and care.

Practical Ways to Prevent Leader Burnout

The great news is there are a few changes you can make right now to look after your wellbeing, and help to prevent burnout.

• Set boundaries – you don’t need to solve everything. Blurred boundaries serve nobody. Be clear about yours, and communicate them well. Your working hours, when you will and won’t reply to emails, what happens when you are on leave etc (Some people still don’t step away from work when lying on a sunbed in the south of France.

• Micro-breaks – Do you take pauses between meetings? Rest IS productive. There are no hero medals or trophies for the most hours and minutes worked. Longer hours does not mean more effective. In fact, well rested people who work fewer hours are likely to be more productive. Being the one ‘first in, last out’, 2am emails, and replying from the beach in the south of France is no longer a badge of honour. It is burnout waiting to happen. Executive stress is the cumulative effect of these factors. The overwork (or the pressure to look busy) plus not taking breaks is a recipe for poor mental health and wellbeing.

• Model vulnerability and openness – say ‘I’m at capacity’ to set culture change. Leave work at 5pm. Express your anxiety. Model asking for help. Be the leader you needed - human first, leader second.

• Say no - no is a complete sentence. We cause ourselves so much stress by saying ‘yes’ in the moment and later realising we now have an overwhelming workload. One tip is to view every request as if it was needing done tomorrow - would you still say yes? We are far more likely to agree to tasks that are further in the future, than those needing done imminently. They still come around quickly, and many people feel sick with stress because they have said ‘yes’ too many times and it has a compounding effect on their workload.

• Connect with peers - leadership is notoriously lonely. Do you have a support system? Are there perhaps peers outwith your organisation you can reach out to? Find your people. It can feel lonely at the top.

Next Steps With Dr Elaine Smith - The Leadership Psychologist

Burnout is a symptom of modern pressures and broken systems. It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long, and it’s time to receive support. Asking for help can feel tough, but the overwhelming feeling most leaders have when they attend my sessions, is initially that of relief. Finally a safe and confidential space to explore the stressors and find new ways of managing stress, that are tailored to them.

Sometimes we just need someone objective to hear us, and what seemed overwhelming, can soon feel more manageable.

VIP Executive 1:1 Wellbeing Sessions

I offer practical, emotional and strategic support for leaders who are experiencing symptoms of burnout.

For more information on my VIP 1:1 sessions, check out my website https://www.drelainesmith.com/executive-1on1-sessions.

Compassionate Leadership E-Learning

I also offer an e-learning course, focused on leader wellbeing, compassionate leadership and psychological safety. For flexible, affordable personal development. Find out more about the e-learning course here - https://www.drelainesmith.com/online-leadership-course-stress-resilience

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to get in touch drelainesmith@protonmail.com. I am always happy to explore how I can best help you and/or your organisation.

Take care, take your breaks, look after yourself first, and you will soon feel the benefit.

Thanks for reading,

Elaine